I got excited and gave Jenni all her presents early. Lol. So I stayed up all night and painted this for Jenni. I’m not a painter, so it’s good that J cares more about meaning than perfection. Besides, when she wakes up… she’ll help me fix that neck and chin right up. Lol. She’s an expert on babies, and she’s a really good artist. I’ll post a pic later if she’s up for helping me with her own present. Ha.
I was thinking about Christmas and what it means. It doesn’t seem like a good time to bring a child into the world. Yet… it’s times like these that seem to be the climate for the birth of new energies.
J is known by those, to whom she calls her own as “Mother Nurture.” I learned from J the most important lesson In my life, “Real love never goes away.” She showed me it was real… and believe me… I tested it.
Real love is scary. It’s a transforming force. It’s not to be confused with the neurotic sentimentality we confuse with love. Real love burns away illusions. It strips you naked. Makes you totally vulnerable. If we can surrender—that’s where the love/God enters. God enters through the wound.
It seems that God is incarnating in the human heart. Indeed… only the human heart can change and transform God. We are changed and transformed as well. To know and to be known belongs to the dimension of relationship. That is redeeming. True relationship requires equality. One cannot feel oneself to be either superior or inferior and have relationship.
That’s where creation takes place.
It’s scary because love requires trust. That’s really hard…true love first brings brings out the worst… because the worst is the worst because it’s never been loved. So… I think everyone needs a friend where you can learn to love the worst…or what you thought was the worst. Because what we think is the worst usually contains that divine spark we all have within us.
Maybe there is no bad… just a lot of untransformed, unparented, unloved, untamed, good. We could all do a lot with some self-compassion.
I know I probably sound like Pollyanna, and I haven’t slept because I was painting. I don’t have my usual filter. That thing get in my way anyways.
We all need a friend. None of us can see our own backside. It seems even Yahweh needed his friend, Moses, to look at his backside. Exodus 33–33 is a magic number. God needs the human to become conscious. That just hit me right now… I’m gonna get back to you on that.
We all need someone to love us just as we are.
That’s the kind of friend I needed… to give that kind of love to be able to have that kind of love for my Self.
It’s a crazy thing… I found that the thing I yearned for was already right there inside of me. You know that yearning hunger longing feeling right in the center of your chest right above your stomach?
That feeling is our guide. It’s a signal that a spiritual connection is already there. It’s a calling card. It takes a shit ton courage to pick up the phone.
In order to respond… we have to know we are worthy. Worth is not based what you do or what you have. Your worth is inherent. Your worth is just being who you are. We are all a part of God, and God is worthy. So… you are worthy, as God is worthy, and as I am worthy. Nothing can fall out of God. We are all connected, and we are all here for a reason. I just wanted to say what is in my heart and celebrate the Christ Child within.